St “UK’s best uni town” Andrews

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Many terrible things are said about the town of St Andrews — people criticize its nightlife, extortionate real estate “market,” or the phantom vortex that makes people you want to avoid appear in that awkward bit near the library.

In one regard, however, St Andrews is second to none: the relationship between its population and its recently opened Pret A Manger.

Indeed, according to the chain’s website, (and some quick calculations) one Pret serving 16,680 St Andreans is the lowest such figure in the country. For comparison, London — where Prets are outranked as pests only by foxes and Russian oligarchs — has roughly one Pret for every 42,000 people.

I know you’re thinking “But Luís, what about Prets in shopping centres near largely suburban populations? Surely at least one of them would usurp our town.”

a) Do less b) I found ONE example of this, in the tiny town of Greenhithe (pop. 4,700) just outside the glittering metropolis of Dartford, but that seems to defeat the purpose of this made up position.

So we’re only including high street Prets, not shopping centres meant to serve actual metropolitan areas. Greenhithe’s High Street only has a pub and something labelled “Jons Disco” which just looks like some guys basement.

Anyway, how long is it before St Andrews starts including this accolade in its advertising? Forget the royals, think of the pastries.